Friday, February 27, 2009

20 Universal Truths

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.


TWO. Marry someone you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.


THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.


FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.


FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.


SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.


SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.


EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.


NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.


TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.


ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.


TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.


THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'


FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.


FIFTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.


SIXTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.


SEVENTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.


EIGHTEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.


NINETEEN. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.


TWENTY. Spend some time alone.


Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Miss Joyce


Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, 'How many of you have forgiven your enemies?'


80% held up their hands.


The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one small elderly lady.


'Miss Joyce''; 'Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?'


I don't have any.' She replied, smiling sweetly.


'Miss Joyce', that is very unusual. How old are you?'


'Ninety-eight.' she replied.


'Oh, Miss. Joyce, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?'


The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said:


'I outlived the bitches.'